| I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb ... and I also know that I'm not blonde. Dolly Parton | You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. Erica Jong |
| The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy. Helen Hayes (age 73) | I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows. Janette Barber |
| Whatever women must do, they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. Char Whitton | My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. Erma Bombeck |
| When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss ... and they called ME slow! Kathy Buckley | I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours. Rita Rudner |
| A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't. Rhonda Hansome | Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows. Jennifer Unlimited |
| The phrase 'working mother' is redundant. J Sellman | I think, therefore, I'm single. Lizz Winstead |
| If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck? Linda Ellerbee | Thirty-five
is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling
apart.
Caryn Leschen |
| Behind
every successful man is a surprised woman.
Mary Pearson |
I
base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.
Gilda Radner |
| Some
of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.
Gloria Steinhem |
Old
age ain't no place for sissies.
Bette Davis |
| Things
are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
Lily Tomlin |
In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. Margaret Thatcher |
| Behind
every successful woman .. is a basket of dirty laundry.
Sally Forth |
Behind
every successful woman ... is a substantial
amount of coffee. Stephanie Piro |
| Who ever thought up the word "Mammogram"? Every time I hear it, I think I'm supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone. Jan King | My
husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't
decide to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.
Rita Rudner |
| Nagging
is the repetition of unpalatable truths.
Baroness Edith Summerskill |
I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. Zsa Zsa Gabor |
| I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. Gloria Steinhem | If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning. Catherine Aird |
| When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. Elayne Boosler | I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once. Jennifer Unlimited |
| If
high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.
Sue Grafton |
I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. Roseanne Barr |
| Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends. Laurie Kuslansky | A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car. Carrie Snow |
========================
click
button to:
